The Alpha Male Podcast: The Ultimate Diet, Workout, and Lifestyle Guide to Live a Masculine, Healthy and Happy Life

Generational Shifts in Marriage, Relationships & Masculinity | Alpha Male Podcast ft. Jamie Krause

• Gregg & Heather Krause • Season 1 • Episode 17

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In this episode of the Alpha Male Podcast, hosts Gregg and Heather Krause welcome their first special guest — Jamie Krause — for a powerful conversation on generational differences in marriage, relationships, masculinity, and family values.

We discuss:

  • How marriage expectations have changed across generations
  • The pressures of marriage and children in modern society
  • The impact of social media on relationships and self-image
  • Why masculinity, perseverance, and work ethic still matter today
  • Lifestyle differences: Florida vs. Ohio living and the lessons learned along the way

Jamie also shares his story of moving from Ohio to Florida, learning new skills like wakeboarding, and adjusting to a new community.

If you’ve ever wondered how social media affects marriage, why modern relationships feel different, or what family values mean across generations, this episode is for you.

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Heather:

Hi guys, and welcome to another episode of the Alpha Male Podcast. I'm one of your hosts, Heather Krause.

Gregg:

And I'm, her dad, Gregg Krause. Thanks for joining us today. Today we have a special. Guests so to say?

Heather:

Yeah. Our very first special guest on the Alpha Male Podcast, um, our, my brother is in town from Florida, so we decided to drag him on here and make him the very first official guest of the podcast. So everybody, welcome Jamie Krause.

Gregg:

Hello everybody.

Heather:

Yeah,

Gregg:

thanks for joining us today. Yes,

Heather:

thank you. Of

Gregg:

course.

Heather:

And we decided, we thought we want, um, we thought it'd be a good idea to talk to him 'cause we figured he's an expert in the age group of the, we'll say mid thirties, so we won't release your age. And I don't want anybody to know my age. Um, 'cause he's about five years younger than me. And with the world changing so fast, we just, were all talking. And like the age group, I mean, yes, there's a bigger age group between like us and dad, but like, what? How guys were back when, you know, you're growing up or even like, like your age group and how they aged and like the different, like issues they had or, um, just kind of things that they faced or what you saw. Um, like throughout that age group in general is different from like my age group and then it's definitely, it's different than even your age group, just five years younger.

Gregg:

Well, what's also unique, I was just sitting here thinking when. I was your age, other mom and I had three kids already and That's

Heather:

crazy. And

Gregg:

when I was your age, Jamie, I had two kids and had been married for whatever years, eight years, whatever it was, where you guys all seem like you're taking your time more.

Jaime:

Mm-hmm.

Gregg:

Which I don't not like getting married when I did because. I found the right one, so it was a good move. Well, you guys seem like you're taking your time a little bit more.

Heather:

Yeah. I mean, we're all not married, don't have kids. We have dogs. We you have a lot of dog, our grand doggies. Um, but that's so true. I mean, I, I feel like my age group was pressured a little bit more than yours, Jamie, but. Not anywhere near, like I feel like if you weren't married, like by the time you were in your late twenties, it was, you were, you were considered like a forever bachelor back when you were like our age-ish. I mean, more so than like us. A little bit, probably, yeah. And then how do you feel, Jane? Like, do you, did you feel like any pressure? I, you could

Gregg:

say your mom fell in love with me.'cause my big salary, I was teaching at a private school making $8,600 a year.

Heather:

Oh wow. So she definitely did not marry you for money? Nope.

Jaime:

Um, no. I, I feel like it's a, uh, I don't even wanna say like a 50 50 split. I feel like there's a lot of people who just live that. Like not married, no kids. Like, like they call it, uh, what? Double income? No, kids. You, oh.

Heather:

Um, wait, what is it?

Jaime:

Double income. No kids.

Heather:

Yeah. So

Jaime:

couples that just don't have kids and they just get to do whatever they want. Mm-hmm. My life. Your life. Yeah. You know, so, uh, well, I guess, no, you've the single income, so it's, it's true. Sorry about your life. I get to have a lot more fun or whatever, but, uh, yeah, true. I don't think there's like any. Pressure to get married from anybody. Like, it's like, honestly, like people assume me and Shelby are married. Like, everybody's like, oh, your wife. And it's like, yeah, sure. Yeah. What else? Like, might as well be, yeah, where I just feel like marriage is maybe lost. Uh, a lot of it's important. Mm-hmm. So, like, I know with having Dad as an example, and I'm gonna interrupt you one sec. How long have you guys been together now? Going, well, we're, it's gonna be five years coming up here in November.

Heather:

Wow. That's a long, like, I didn't realize it was that long, but I guess like, thinking back Yeah.'cause you've been living in Florida for three years. Three years, yeah. Yeah. Time flies.

Gregg:

Continue on with what you

Heather:

were talking about. Yeah. Sorry about,

Jaime:

to be honest with you, I don't even remember what we were talking about. Uh, yeah, what,

Heather:

how, um, like how they assume like you and Shelby are married and how there's like really no pressure.

Jaime:

Well, yeah, and it's like, I feel, I feel like I hear it a lot more, or like pretty often of, uh, like, oh, marriage is just a piece of paper and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. But growing up with, you know, dad and mom as our example where like you guys are, I feel like a lot of people don't have that, so. Oh, for sure. It's like they don't know what they're missing out on. Mm-hmm. Where like, to me, I'm like. Like you guys were, you guys set the example. So it's like's what I want. That's how I feel. Yeah. It's anything

Heather:

less. I'm like, I'll live with my dogs and not have any, you know, like Right. I'm fine.

Jaime:

Yeah. So I think it's just maybe a lot of people my age and then even your age, not as much as like my age group. Yeah, for sure. But didn't have that example where I feel like more and more, uh, throughout the years there was. For lack of better words, worse and worse examples of what marriage should be

Heather:

now. It's crazy.

Gregg:

Well, I think even with mom and I, some people stayed together just because of the kids.

Heather:

That's, that's true. And I don't think anybody does that anymore? Mess your home. Mm-hmm.

Gregg:

We're now getting divorced. Like breaking up with your girlfriend in grade school. Yeah.

Heather:

Yeah. I don't think anybody stays together anymore. Um. For like the kids or for any reason, like I just feel like at the littlest sign of trouble now everyone's like, I'm outta here. Or they're like cheating on like there's, so I just feel like there's so much cheating so much with these apps and nobody's happy. I think social media just makes you think that like your life is less than, and so everybody thinks like, oh, like they see this fake happiness, so then they just go after that and then completely throw out a good relationship because nobody puts in work for anything anymore. So it's just like, oh, I don't have like sunshines and rainbows with what I, you know, my relationship. I'm gonna go,

Gregg:

well, I've always mentioned to you guys and the same thing with all the kids I've taught. If you really think you'll love somebody and you wanna marry'em, go camping out in the woods.

Heather:

Oh, with just attempt

Gregg:

be

Heather:

bad. I don't think anybody would marry me if that was the case. If I, they did that with me and

Gregg:

when you got a rough it for five days. You really see whether you really care for that person or not. Oh my gosh. Because if you're always out spending money, going to nightclubs, wakeboarding, yeah. You know, doing all these different things, life's exciting. But every excitement as a downer, because then you gotta go to work, people get sick. The stupid thing that happened to me where. Mom lost a lot of sleep where I got to sleep through it all. It's true. So, you know, there's a lot of different things that are out there that cause people to look at somebody in a different way,

Jaime:

and I think a really good example of the whole camping thing would be hurricane season in Florida, because Yeah, if you can survive being in a house with somebody with no power and it's a hundred degrees outside, that's true. That's true. It gets a little rough. Yeah,

Heather:

that's crazy. That is a good, like alternative to camping.

Gregg:

So speaking of Florida, you've been down there, what, three years now? Three and a half, yeah, three years. Uh, in June. So what do you like more about Florida than Ohio, then? Ohio minus the weather.

Heather:

Yeah. Or is that basically the biggest thing?

Jaime:

No, no. I, I mean, honestly, uh, I don't think I realized how much the scenery affected me. Where I, I personally feel like being in Ohio, everybody kind of, we'll say fibs a little bit about like, oh no, like we get nice weather for eight months outta the year and you know, we see the sun. Uh, driving up here when I crossed over the bridge by, by Cincinnati, the sky was instantly gray and I looked at the temperature, and I know it's not typical for July, but yeah,

Heather:

like also in Ohio right now, like we just came off like 90 degrees sunny, and then he comes the one day that it's like rainy and 69, like it's just not the best reminder of how Ohio is.

Jaime:

Yeah. But it was like a good reminder though. I know what you're saying, man. I can't remember the last time that I saw. The sky look like this. Like even when you have a hurricane coming or something, you know, like Yeah.

Heather:

It's definitely different. It's

Jaime:

not, yeah. And it's,

Heather:

it's not dreary. Like you guys don't get dreary down in Florida.

Jaime:

Yes.

Heather:

You guys just get dark storms.

Jaime:

Yeah. Well, and it's just, even like your drive to work every day. There's palm trees, there's the sun. Mm-hmm. And everybody's just happier. Yeah. And I, I think that that's where weather and scenery just in general, uh. I mean, going on the tour of Cleveland the other day as a family. Yeah. Big difference of like, it's cool and you're looking at it. Mm-hmm. But then

Heather:

it's like, it's like rugged and man. Yeah.

Jaime:

Yeah. It's old. Yeah. Yeah. It's old. Yeah. But just changing your scenery, I think can you know that, I think that that makes people a lot happier.

Heather:

I remember when I was living in California, even like in the mornings, like, like what I remember as old school, like. Like relaxing mornings, like in the summer, it's like, there's like this weird feeling, I can't even describe it, but like, that's how I felt like every morning in California, because there was, you know, it was perfect weather every day. So like, your morning wasn't like, like as I'm waking up and I'm like, oh my God, I gotta go to work or go to school or whatever, I'm like, groggy. But it's like the sun's shining, there's palm trees. It just, it kind of made it a lot easier to do every day.

Gregg:

Well, mom and I lived out there. I'm going back to the late seventies, early eighties. Um, it was beautiful, the weather and everything else, but it was just so doggone expensive. Oh

Heather:

yeah. It's crazy to

Gregg:

live, and I knew I couldn't find a teaching job because I had already taught for four years, but they were laying teachers off. So I end up doing construction, which I don't mind. I like teaching more, but. It was almost like you had to work six days a week just to make your payments and everything else. So all that beautiful scenery and weather, you got to look at it as you were working instead of being out there enjoying it.

Heather:

That's how I felt when I was in California, 'cause I was going to school full time. Working full time at Nordstrom. So I mean, I wasn't making like a ton of money and I had a West Hollywood apartment that I was sharing with some stranger I met on Craigslist. You mean

Gregg:

you weren't living off your rich parents?

Heather:

No, they, that's 'cause So to explain this, this was my second stint in college, so like this as after I already graduated and all that. So I was in my like early twenties. So I was more like. More than capable of paying for myself. You guys did pay for my car to be shipped out there, which was not cheap, which that's how we actually moved me out there.'cause you're not supposed to put anything in your car when you ship it out 'cause of liability re like purposes. And you guys, I remember shoved so much stuff in my car and then covered the windows with blankets and then shipped it out and you're like, we hope to God this car gets to you because it has a lot of stuff in it. And that's how I moved back too. I did the same thing.

Gregg:

Yep. We had to make, do,

Heather:

yeah, I think it was like between 12 and $1,500 each way. It was a lot to get like a car shipped up and I had an eclipse. That's the thing. It was a small, but we, it could definitely fit a lot of stuff in there.

Jaime:

I feel like I had the opposite experience where I moved down to Florida out of a horse trailer. Yeah. So, and you took hos down there?

Heather:

Yeah. You

Jaime:

had a lot of, A lot of stuff.

Heather:

Yeah. Yours was different than mine.

Jaime:

That was a long drive.

Heather:

I can't even imagine.

Jaime:

Yeah. Why didn't you guys pay to ship all my stuff

Heather:

done? Ha ha. Apparently somebody's the fave. Yeah. Well, moving on.'cause we don't wanna have that awkward conversation. And it was a favorite, although we already know it's me.

Jaime:

She, she paid him say that. Yeah.

Heather:

No. So anything else to say about, um, that you realized, like between Florida and Ohio? That you weren't expecting?

Gregg:

Oh, where the people from, from here the same, or are,

Heather:

are they as crazy as they? I feel like everybody says how crazy Florida people are.

Jaime:

Well, so I live in the middle of nowhere, so not a whole lot of people. What, what city do you live in? Some people have an idea. It's just north of Ocala, um, which I know a lot of people, surprisingly don't know what Ocala is, so. Mm-hmm. To be fair, I didn't know about Ocala until I moved down there. Yeah. So

Heather:

I've never heard of it before. You. You moved,

Jaime:

but, uh, that's really just a lot of you, you have your drug prop, like drug areas, you know? Yeah. And so like, that's just good entertainment, if anything. Yeah. Um, but, uh,

Heather:

love a good crack head. Yeah. Yeah. When you pull into a gas station.

Jaime:

Yeah. It's, I, I mean, the drive to work is always interesting during certain stretches, but, uh, outside of that, when you get into normal territory, I mean, everybody just seems nicer, especially, uh. It's that whole southern hospitality, I mean Oh yeah. That still definitely exists. Um, our, our neighbor, like all of our hou, all the houses on our street are like pretty spaced, like far apart from each other. Mm-hmm. And uh, so you don't see your neighbors? Yeah, like a whole lot. But anytime you need anything, everybody's like, you know, oh, what do you need? You know, and it, it's a lot different.

Heather:

So do you think though that like there's more southern hospitality than like the Midwest? Because the reason I ask you this is like when I was in California, everybody knew I wasn't from there. Everyone's like, you're too nice. You're not from Cali. Like, and they thought I was in the, from the Midwest. They actually though I would confuse them with my accent because they thought I was from the Midwest, but then they thought like my accent was from Buffalo. I got Canada, um, Wisconsin. I can't even, like, I got some, like all these wild, I'm like, it's Cleveland. Like, and I don't even think I have an accent, but, well, like the o's and the, a's you know, like the moms, the dad.

Jaime:

I get pillow and milk. People make fun of me for that all the time. Wait, what? And saying pop.

Heather:

Oh yeah. Like, like you

Jaime:

can't say pop down south. You can't, no, it's soda.

Heather:

No, I refuse to say so. I don't like the word soda. Yeah. Well, wait, how did, why did you say pillow? Fun? Like, I don't under, I didn't hear weirdness. Well, of course we're not

Jaime:

gonna hear it.

Heather:

Yeah. But it's,

Jaime:

I think that people hear it as like pillow. Like PELL.

Heather:

Pillow.

Jaime:

Pillow. Pillow. Like a pill. Like you take a pill. Yeah.

Heather:

Pillow.

Jaime:

Oh, pillow. Yeah. That's weird. I don't know. I don't know. Something that I, yeah, 'cause milk,

Heather:

that's how you're supposed to say it.

Jaime:

I don't know. I think that that's how they say I say it.

Heather:

Oh, that's weird. Again, it's an

Jaime:

E or an I like pillow.

Heather:

Yeah.

Jaime:

Milk.

Heather:

When I lived in Columbus, I worked with some chick, um, from Appalachia, and she said my accent was so thick sometimes she couldn't understand me. And I'm like, I think that's an Appalachia. Like maybe your education wasn't that good. Understand me. Like, I don't know, like not to be mean, but I was just like, what? It's not like I'm from another country. Yeah. From Cleveland. Like an hour north of here.

Gregg:

Um, question for you. Most of your friends you guys hang out with down there? Are they married? Mm-hmm. Or single or just living together or?

Jaime:

Oddly enough down there, like probably 90% or 95% of our friends are married down there. Really? Where Up here? I feel like it's like 50 50. A mixed bag. Yeah. You have people who are just gonna be single the rest of their life. Yeah. And they don't care, or they're just gonna be like. Together but not married for their whole life or,

Heather:

yeah,

Jaime:

married.

Heather:

That is weird. Maybe it is like, so like the more old school, like Southern like,

Jaime:

but there is a lot more people down there that I know that are the whole double income, no kids type thing. Oh really? Yeah. So married, like happily married, but just don't have any interest in kids. Most of the friends you

Gregg:

have down there, are they natives? Or are they transplant from another place? Transplant coming.

Jaime:

So not to throw another percentage out there on it, but probably like 80% of the people that you meet down there are not from there. It is very like

Gregg:

out. That's what I figured.'cause like from California, out of all the people mom and I met, I think there was like three or four that were from born in California. Everybody else had moved out to California. If I remember correctly, the divorce rate, something crazy, like 80, 90%. Oh really? People were on their second and third divorces already. That's, and they'd always look at mom and I and say, you guys have only been married once. Like, yep. Yeah. Boys still in love. So sorry.

Jaime:

Yeah. No, that, how, how dare you? Yeah. You

Heather:

weirdos. Yeah. No. So do you, um. Like when you think about like kids that you went to high school with, like are a lot of them divorced?

Jaime:

To be honest with you, I don't really like, there's not a whole lot of people from high school that I like pay a whole lot of attention to. You don't creep on anybody on

Heather:

Facebook?

Jaime:

No. I mean, my God,

Heather:

I do. I don't, yeah. You don't have to name names on this, like,

Jaime:

something for you to edit out later. I was gonna, I was gonna say that, uh, the whole, the whole reason why most guys have social media is to make sure their ex-girlfriends get fat. So,

Heather:

oh, that's, that's true. That's true. Well, is there, yeah, we'll just, okay. No more.

Jaime:

Cut that out. Yeah, edit it out. Yeah.

Heather:

So, okay. Since you don't creep on anybody on Facebook. Facebook, oh, no, I'm not

Jaime:

saying I don't creep on anybody on Facebook. I'm just saying like

Heather:

in gen, like it's not like a ton. Like you don't really know.

Jaime:

Yeah. Like there's like a handful of people that I still talk to from time to time. Mm-hmm. Um, and I think a lot of those people are like married kids and all that. Mm-hmm. But no, there's really not a whole lot of people from high school that I. Paid any attention to after high school?

Heather:

Mm-hmm. Well, I just think, like, I just remember growing up, like we had one, maybe one kid who had divorced parents, and now I feel like it's probably at least half. And like there's nothing wrong with, you know, like I'm all about if you married the wrong person, you should get outta the marriage. I don't think you should be stuck, you know, because you, people just, you know, made a mistake and Ms. Best on, but,

Gregg:

but you can't run at the first

Heather:

ex e exactly. Bad

Gregg:

thing because. Life has its ups and

Jaime:

downs.

Gregg:

Mm-hmm. And sometimes you're having a bad day and you may snap at your husband, wife, whatever, and all of a sudden you realize, Hey man, I'm sorry. I'm not upset with you. I'm upset 'cause that guy ran me off the road or whatever.

Jaime:

But

Gregg:

Or because you ran

Jaime:

somebody off the road. Yeah. Happen a few times,

Heather:

maybe two days ago. No, well, no. I mean, look at, even like Sharon Osborne and Ozzy Osborne, like they, they stuck it out. I mean, that marriage had so many ups and downs and I mean, she stuck by Ozzy, you know, through drug addictions, alcohol addictions, I mean, all kinds of crazy. Stuff. And I know, like I was watching some interview and she found out about how he was like involved with some other women and all this stuff, but she chose to stick by him and I, and I'm not saying, you know, maybe that was the right thing to do. Maybe that was the wrong thing to do, but I felt like it was right for them. But like, and you look at them and you're like, these two are just so in love. Like when you watch 'em, and I'm thinking like not many people would weather that storm at all Nowadays.

Jaime:

Also, I think that it's. Also with the, like you figure, no matter what, you try to figure it out until you can't. Mm-hmm. But if you're with the right person, you never reach that until you can't. Yeah,

Heather:

exactly.

Jaime:

Where there was something that I heard, I can't remember where it was at, like, or what it was from, but it was like the mindset should be, hey, like me and you, it's like you're locked in a house or something, you know? Mm-hmm. And it's like, Hey, look. We're here, like we're in this together. Yeah. So no matter how bad this gets, we're not, we can't walk away from each other. Mm-hmm. So how are we gonna figure this out, you know? Yeah. Instead of just like, I guess leaving the option of leaving on the table.

Heather:

Mm-hmm.

Jaime:

That mindset, you know, and I, I think that it's a lot to do with, nowadays a lot of people. Rush into marriage when they are in, like they could be in a relationship. Mm-hmm. And then they're just like, oh, we have to get engaged. We have to get married. Mm-hmm. And we have to have kids and dah, dah, dah. Where they don't think about is this the right person? They think that's what I've seen. Yeah. I found somebody who. Put up with my stuff. They like stuff and

Heather:

almost like settling. They're like, oh, I found somebody that I like right now, and then I wanna have kids. I wanna do this. So it's like kind like an agenda. Yes. Like it's part of an agenda. Mm-hmm. Instead

Jaime:

of about love and being with the right person. Yeah. That's why I

Gregg:

firmly believe you should live with somebody for a minute. Yeah. To make sure. Because when you're just dating. I could fake being nice for two hours. Oh yeah. And you don't see me then when I go home and I'm kicking the dog and choking the cat or

Heather:

whatever. You me, you went into extreme.

Jaime:

They've, they've never had a cat.

Heather:

Yeah, we never had that.

Gregg:

I always joked them out.

Heather:

I'm just kidding. Yeah, just kidding. And he's never kicked the dog either,

Gregg:

allegedly. Yeah. But I'm just saying you really don't see how people handle different situations. And sometimes, I mean, I'm Jacque, which is people I know sometimes where something happens and they just have a meltdown. Mm-hmm. And it's like you never look at that person the same way ever again. No. Because you thought they had it together. And I'm not saying it's wrong if you have a meltdown, I realize sometimes people can't handle it, but

Heather:

it's, it's how you have it and how you deal with like the aftermath of it. Yeah. Adversity, right? Mm-hmm. Like if you just have the meltdown and then act like that was like normal, like, or you like, I don't even wanna say like you deserve, but it's like. You should be apologizing for and going like, listen, I had a bad day. And like you recognize that you had the meltdown. It wasn't, you know,

Jaime:

you hold yourself accountable.

Heather:

Yes. And some people just don't. And it's just, they think that that's just normal to have. And you should have, the partner should have to deal with it. And that's not, I don't believe.

Gregg:

Right. And I'm also just gonna throw out the dress tissue. I know mom and I had friends where. If the other person wasn't with them, they were texting them all the time. Yeah.

Jaime:

What are you

Gregg:

doing?

Jaime:

Mm-hmm. Where

Gregg:

you at? And it's like, if you don't have trust, really don't have a relationship

Heather:

because No. Why would you wanna be text? Like why would you even wanna deal with

Gregg:

that? Or hiding stuff on your phone or whatever. Mm-hmm. I mean, I always laugh many times, and Mom, Michelle, the phone. And it's like, Hey, can you open this up for me? I don't know who sent it to me. Mm-hmm. Or other people would be afraid. Like if it was this town with all those, what is it? Chat rooms. Whenever. Chat rooms. 20 years ago it was like, that was like what? That was

Heather:

when I was in like fourth grade. Yeah. No, but I'm saying now, no like, like

Gregg:

never laughing at life. My fan page or whatever. Oh, only fans. Yeah. Yeah. Or I'm getting these messenger things. Oh, he's

Heather:

talking about, you're talking about like the porn bots. That like message you on Messenger?

Gregg:

I never opened it yet, but yeah, that's, they

Heather:

don't send you porn. They're just like, they're advertising, like they use their Facebook or Instagram to look in everybody.

Gregg:

That way is two times sending to me. Thank

Jaime:

you.

Heather:

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Nobody, it

Jaime:

is like a, like a cyber girlfriend type thing. Yes. Like I'm gonna send you messages to make you think you have a chance with me.

Heather:

Yes. Type deal. Yes. But yes. Or even like people are on, like, there's like a secret mode now in these dating apps. I don't know if they're still doing it, but like you can go in there and like, like I think it's, you can choose who you want to see you. So like if you're on there. Okay. And you don't want Shelby or Shelby's friends to know that you're on there, you would like, I can't, I can't remember how it works 'cause I've never used it. But it's like something where like if you saw one of her friends, you could say like. Block her so she can't see you. Like, so she would never come, you would never come up on her scrolling. So it's like you, you determine who sees you on there, which is insane 'cause it's only used for one reason as if you're cheating.

Jaime:

So I do feel, first of all, like I've. I, I think different views on most people on like with social media and all that, I think we all agree on it. It kind of ruined a lot of things. Oh, I think it

Heather:

ruined so much stuff. Yeah. Like it's crazy. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love my conspiracy podcasts and I feel like social media made them happen, but I, if I would rather juice do without social media in general then and give it my podcast.

Jaime:

Right. But, but if it can just be just conspiracy stuff. Yeah. Right. Then social media can stick around. Mm-hmm. But I just think that all this stuff, it promotes. Cheating. So like it's not only like does does it leave the option? It's like, oh, well it's like they went into it with the mindset of like, well, people are gonna use this to cheat, so how do we make that happen? Happen. Exactly. They did they, and make you feel okay with it.

Heather:

Mm-hmm.

Jaime:

I'm

Gregg:

gonna shift gears for a second. With your generation coming up now, what do you like about 'em and what do you not like about 'em compared to. Your uncles, my brothers, um, the friends that mom and I have that you grew up

Heather:

or even seeing them, or, or do you know, like,

Jaime:

man, I feel like I'm gonna get a lot of like, hate mail for, for talking Ill, because I don't, I don't have all that. We're gonna leave

Heather:

your, um, email at the end of this Yeah. Thing so you can get all the emails. That's

Jaime:

fine. I'll, I'll have my dad beat him up, but, uh. Uh, to be honest with you, I just feel like as the years have gone on, there's been a lot of things lost since your guys' generation, sorry. Yeah. Since your guys' generation. But, uh, I mean, that goes from like family values, uh, work ethic. Uh, you know, I, I, I'm a manager in my role, so at for, for work dealing with people my age and younger is, oh, that crazy, awful. Um, if any of my employees see this do better. Yeah. Get to work. Yeah. Um, but, uh, I mean, just values in general and, and yeah. And work ethic and, and all of that. I feel like everything is so watered down where I can say the positive thing is we're better than the younger generations.

Heather:

I know. Well, I,

Jaime:

but that's about it. I mean.

Gregg:

What about like showing up to work and putting in time or just,

Heather:

but like paying your dues? I feel like

Gregg:

I, I think friends that, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but like friends that tell you, oh yeah, I'm gonna do this for you, but then it never comes true. I

Heather:

mean, I feel like you have a good friend group though. Like you,

Jaime:

but my friend group is all older. Oh, true. Because remember, like even in high school. That was when I started doing the whole truck thing and the motorcycle thing and all those guys were older. Yeah. And I think that that was one of the things that drew me into that group was Yeah, that was, there was that brotherhood, that camaraderie and I think

Heather:

that went away.

Jaime:

Absolutely. Mm-hmm. Um, where loyalty.

Heather:

Yeah, because I did, I feel like, you know what I mean? You still have like the people that grew up on your street and everything and like you're in your neighborhood. It's like. That's not, I mean, we have that with like York View, like the York View gang. Like we moved just to give you, like, we moved when I was in second grade from the street. That was like the epitome of, you know, growing up like childhood, we had, everybody knew everybody. Everybody watched everyone's kids. They, we kind of like left the house, you know, at 9:00 AM and didn't come home until late. But after that, I feel like it's,

Jaime:

yeah. What were you gonna say? Um. I just, I think that with everything being watered down of like what made you guys, you and what made everything work the way that it was supposed to work, whether it be in marriages or friendships or work. Mm-hmm. Or you know, so like your own personal career, anything. Yeah. It, it's watered down and then expected like, I'm gonna put in half the work and I still expect. The outcome of what you put in. Yeah. A hundred. You know, you put in 110%, I'm gonna put in 50 and I'm gonna complain when I don't get what you had. Yeah. Um, and then it's just full of excuses. I know that was something that you would, you know, be chirping at me all the time when growing up was, you know, excuses. Excuses. And I'm looking at like, I wasn't an excuse. Yeah. I look back at it now and I'm like, man, I really gave that man a lot of excuses and you know, it. Being on the opposite end of that, you know, where like, especially with work and telling these people like, this is how this needs to be done. And it, and it's like,

Heather:

yeah, yeah.

Jaime:

Do it this way.

Heather:

Yeah.

Jaime:

Um,

Heather:

but I feel like nobody wants to like, learn and do better either. Like, no one wants to learn from mistakes, it's just give an excuse and move on, or,

Jaime:

or the, I'm not good at that, so I don't want to do it. Um. Even when, you know, like, I know you brought up like wakeboarding and wake surfing, whatever. Yeah. So like that's something that I just picked up a few years ago and it's my favorite thing to do now. Very good at it. Yeah. Thank you. That took a lot of effort. Yeah. It didn't come easy. I got drug around the lake and drank a lot of water, lake water. Uh, but

Gregg:

that's like anything in life if you want it mm-hmm. You gotta work at it.

Jaime:

Right? Well, and that's the thing is, so the, the funny story behind that is that. You know, I, I drove all the way from Florida to St. Louis. I think it was a 16 hour drive to pick up my first wake boat. Mm-hmm. I had never even tried this before. Mm-hmm. I've never been on a wake boat, never been pulled by one, nothing. Drove all the way, 16 hours one way, hooked the boat up, didn't even put the boat in the water. Super risky move, hauled it all the way home and then. I'm like, I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

Heather:

Mm-hmm.

Jaime:

And reached out to people on social media, uh, in like a, a wake surfing group, and now he's one of my best friends. Max like, oh, come down to Orlando, I'll teach you how to do it, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Him and his wife drugged me around that lake for hours before I could even get up on the board. And I'm going, oh my God, I just spent all this money on this boat. I like, what am I gonna do? You know? Yeah. I can't even teach people how to do this, let alone do it myself. Yeah. And I feel like most people at that point go, eh, well, I don't think I'm good. I'm done.

Heather:

I don't think anybody would've drove out to get a boat. Like I feel like nobody throws themself into anything. Instead, they. They like get their satisfaction from watching somebody on social media do it like, so it's almost like they half live life because they might wanna do something like, let's just say they wanted to pick up wakeboarding. So instead of taking the steps to actually like go wakeboarding or get good at it or whatever, they'll just watch somebody on like YouTube or Instagram do it and then they're like, that kind of like satisfies them a little bit. So everybody's leaving these like. Half-ass lives because nobody's really experiencing stuff. There's

Jaime:

no, there's no drive. And that's one of the things that I feel is also watered down. Where again, people, I feel like there's a lot of hopes and dreams. Yes. And not a whole lot of effort and drive of like, you know what, that's what I'm gonna do. Where I feel like everything in my life has been exactly that. Like I was in the middle of shoveling my driveway in, I think it was like a bad snow storm in April. Oh yeah. And I was like, I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. We're moving to Florida. Mm-hmm. And we were under contract in a matter of like three weeks, four weeks. Oh yeah. Or something for the house. And like, I didn't even get to see the house. Shelby tried to FaceTime with me to see it. Mm-hmm. And there's no service in the middle of nowhere where we live now. Yeah. So I was like, eh, whatever. Like, we'll figure it out. You know? It's always, we'll figure it out. Mm-hmm. You know, it's always, we'll figure it out. And if we're not gonna be. If we're not good at something now, it's because we haven't done it, you know, before. Mm-hmm. And it takes time, it takes practice and I mean, that's like, uh, growing up and doing, uh, like the baseball and all that, and we had like hitting coaches and mm-hmm. You know, it's like, well how is this person so much better than me? Well, they put in more effort. Yeah. They practice, you know, they, they practice. Mm-hmm. They showed up, they stopped with the excuses. Yeah. They listen, uh, you know, things like that where, um, I just. That's lost. And I, and I mean, even just, I think even just the whole, anything masculine. Yeah. Has, I feel like in your age group, I, well, I, I feel like in your age group, the majority of men were men. Like Yeah. And even they were manly.

Heather:

Like even if they didn't have like a bunch of muscles, they might have been a smaller guy. They still had that whole masculine vibe. Like when you met them, like he was like a manly man, you know, like. Mm-hmm.

Jaime:

And then in your age group, I feel like there was a couple, like a few guys mm-hmm. Were not super masculine. Yeah. And then every year after that became, it got more and more, it became more and more and more. And then like, I mean, nowadays these kids, you know, they, they are, they look soft. They Oh, for sure. Have, you know, the man boobs, they have muffin tops and Yeah, they just, there's, there's no. Life in their eyes, like they're mm-hmm. It's just everybody's, I I know it probably scared the hell outta you. Well, you, the other day when we were out eating, you made a

Gregg:

comment Oh. Or we had stopped for ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. When,

Jaime:

when we were sitting there eating ice cream and there's, there's kids, and when I say kids, I mean anywhere from, not, not little kids, but I mean, you know, you're maybe like eighth grade to high school, and now even honestly, college where mm-hmm. You look and, and they just look soft and, yeah. I mean, I, I've eaten total trash this week, traveling and that have had no physical exercise except for walking. Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God. I like, I need to get back and eat, eat. Right. I need to get in the gym.'cause I, I feel gross. Yeah. It's like, I can't imagine just walking through life being like, oh, like this, this is fine. And I think that that goes like accepting it. Yeah. And I think that that goes along with the whole thing of like. I should look like you. Why don't I look like you? Well, you know what my eating habits are? Mm-hmm. Like I'm no stranger to zebra cakes and ice cream. Yeah. And you know, if you want to take it to the next level, you have to take it to the next level. Somebody else isn't gonna do it for you.

Heather:

Well, and I think that that's why so many, like, it's like this weird thing that's going on, but like, it's weird because this is the most bodybuilding and fitness has ever been popular. Like with Instagram, it made it blow up.'cause like back in the eighties and the nineties, it used to be like a cult and like a underground one and like nobody really did it unless you were like in the group. And so now you have the most widespread fitness that there ever has been. Yet we're the most unhealthy as a country. We spend the most in healthcare. And everybody's so unhappy where we have like the most depressed people. And I think it's like they lost that drive. Everyone always is shocked that I didn't have like body image issues growing up in the fitness industry. Just in, you know, because like that's kind of, that can happen like that. You see it in the modeling industry, things like that. Because I'm surrounded by all these like perfect bodies and it's like, I didn't even think of having one because you taught us. You put in effort and you can have that body. So now it's my fault if I don't have, you know what I mean? Like I have all the power and if I wanna have a certain body type, well now I gotta put the work in and then I just, then I can get one. And I think that that's lost, that message was lost. So now you have all these people that just see these bodies on Instagram that they want, but they don't have the drive and know how to get them. And so they just sit there unhappy.

Gregg:

Well, we have to wrap this up. So when he last. Yeah.'cause I

Heather:

don't know if you guys can hear Titan. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Their little guard dog is starting to get a little antsy and bark.

Jaime:

Um, well just adding on to what you were just talking about with like body image and all that too with mm-hmm. Social media, you know. Even me sitting here, right? I'm, oh man, you know, is this fine? Is this fine? Imagine your whole social media platform is based off of how you look.

Heather:

Mm-hmm.

Jaime:

It's not just somebody going, oh, hey, look, selfie, boom. And they just look perfect. Mm-hmm. They're moving a light around. Oh, it's, they're like, make, they're, they're doing some pushups before they go and take a picture. I mean, and

Heather:

now all the filters. So like you can make your arms bigger and with just like before you used to have to like hire a professional to. Edit your photos or make, you know, or become a professional yourself. Now you can download an app and within you just go, beep, I want my bicep bigger beep. Like, that's all you do.

Jaime:

Well now you have the AI on the Instagram too. Oh. And, and everything else. So you can be like, oh, like give me abs.'cause I had exactly a whole pack of zebra cakes today and I don't want it to show. And so

Heather:

now I think everybody's getting this anxiety because they're live. Like it's, they're seeing something that like, they're trying to, they are jealous of something that is not real and like. They don't even know how to obtain it, even if it is real and like they're just stuck in this weird, like, emotional.

Jaime:

Well, so if, if you, going back to when we were, I think it was when we were at ice cream again. Mm-hmm. We were talking about people just, you know, staring down phone. Everybody. Everybody. So if you think about it though, if they just looked up from their phone when they're out in public mm-hmm. Around everybody, it's very rare that you see somebody who's in shape.

Heather:

Oh, absolutely. So like if they just stop looking like they're in good company too, like they shouldn't be depressed. They're in like good company. Yeah. Most people are not in shape. Yeah.

Jaime:

But so if you look up from your phone, from all the stuff that's fake and you look at what's real around you, you can go.

Heather:

Mm-hmm.

Jaime:

Oh, this is not a, like, this is not common for people to look like this. Yeah. You know? Well,

Gregg:

like I always try to tell people too, if you're happy with the way you look, I'm happy for you. But if you are unhappy with the way you look, what can you do to make yourself better? And whether it's your physique, whether it's your job, whether it's your marriage, or whatever it is. And that's where I think people, once again, I think you were saying, well, they don't put the effort anymore,

Jaime:

right? Mm-hmm. Well, and I mean even like the friendships of, of guys nowadays too. Mm-hmm. Where I can't really speak on the whole female aspect of it. Yeah. But just, that's a whole nother time. Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say, man, that whew. But, uh, going back to the whole watered down thing over, over the years with like loyalty. Mm-hmm. Me and my friends laugh at the whole thing of like, if, if somebody, if you're in a bar or whatever, just out in public and there's a fight with one of your, you know, one of your, your friends is in a fight. So many people nowadays are like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, what? What happened? What happened? And they try to figure it out and it's like, you guys didn't do that. You know? I don't do that. My friends that are, you know, closer to your age, don't do that. Yeah. You see your guy in a fight, you go, you're in there. We'll figure this out later. Yeah. There's no loyalty, there's no masculine energy, there's no, I mean, rough, rugged, like, it's like it's not okay to be. Manly. It's like, well,

Heather:

well, you know what's funny is, so I have a couple like matchmaking sites that will reach out to me to like join as like a free member to like, to, so to be in their pool for like the ping members to, you know, see if they wanna be matched with me. And they asked, they sent me some guy and he was, let's just say not alpha male. And so I, you know, said like, I politely declined, you know, I said I didn't wanna go on a date. They asked me, they're like, oh, well what's his, or what's your type? And I was like, to basically like, to sum it up, I want a guy that looks like they're gonna run to a fight, not away from a fight. And like, there's no other way to describe it, but like, because the girl was kind of like arguing like, well, he's really cute. Like, especially in person, he is like a lot cuter and his pictures. And I'm like, I don't care how cute he is. Like his vibe's off. You know, like,

Jaime:

well I, I also feel like that's probably, by the way, Jamie and I are a lot cute are up there. Yeah. But right there. I'm sorry, but like as a guy, if you're being called cute, yeah. That's not a masculine like, you know what I mean? Exactly. Like you don't want to be called cute. That sounds soft. Like I feel like if someone's like, oh my gosh, you look so cute. And it's not some like little old lady telling me that, yes, I feel like I'm like this little dog, you know? And it's like Exactly. You wanna look terrifying. Like you wanna look

Heather:

like intimidating or Yeah. You wanna look.

Gregg:

Yeah, I would say. You wanted that people know you could take care of yourself. That's

Heather:

yes. So

Gregg:

I'm happy. You are happy and let's have some fun together. Where nowadays you could just tell so many people go through life afraid. Yes. And once again, we're not promoting violence whatsoever. No. We just want it like that poor situation down in Cincinnati where those

Heather:

Oh yeah. People got

Gregg:

beat up.

Heather:

And everybody watched like

Gregg:

where you should have been stepping in to stop that from the get go. Mm-hmm. And I know everybody's afraid somebody's got a weapon or whatever. But,

Heather:

but throw something at them from a distance. Like, you know what I mean? Like Yeah. Like if I had to like, as stupid as it sounds like I'm probably gonna be in stilettos, I'm throwing my shoe at 'em, you know what I mean? Like opening my heel hits first

Gregg:

and then you'll have to buy another beer.

Heather:

That's okay.

Jaime:

Again, not promoting Violet, but stilettos, throw shoes

Heather:

at them. Yeah.

Jaime:

But no, like, exactly like being able to have that power to do it, but. Think to control it. Mm-hmm. Controlling that, yeah. Is, is a big part of the masculine energy where Yeah. Being

Heather:

like dangerous, but being able to control it. Right.

Jaime:

Because the other way around is

Heather:

you're a wimp,

Jaime:

right? And Yeah. And nothing happens. So we have to wrap this up. Any last minute I could talk for hours. I know, that's what I, we were gonna try to keep

Heather:

this at a half hour and I, I knew this was not gonna be a half hour one. I think we're going, going

Jaime:

on three and a half days now because we have to,

Heather:

um, go play putt putt in the batting cages because we have a contest on who's gonna win. And I'm gonna, I tell you, it's probably gonna be me because won't. Kicked both their asses a couple years ago in the batting cages in the guy's cage. By, mind you, the very, the fastest one I have in, in hold on five inch wedges. So let's just, and I was in a dress. I had so guess, and I have tennis shoes on today and I have sweat loose clothes, so they have no chance.

Jaime:

I had a broken big toe. Okay? So I'm throwing that out there and I still tried.

Heather:

Okay. So, we'll, we'll see what happens today, but I did, I did lose

Jaime:

I'll, I'll give her that.

Heather:

We'll see what happens today. Do

Jaime:

need less.

Heather:

Anything left to say?

Jaime:

No.'cause then I feel like I'm just gonna go down a whole nother rabbit hole. So if I just call it cut. We're good. We also point at your

Heather:

little quote at the. You can end with that.

Jaime:

Yeah. So how can I lean and still talk? So, yeah, my dad is more alpha than yours. So that's your message to everybody. That's, that's always held true. I, I feel, uh, like it was always really cool to be able to, uh, say it like as I was growing up when there's people that were just like, you know. Talking crap or whatever. Mm-hmm. And it's like, like, shut up. My dad will beat you up. Or like, I'll send my dad over to your house to beat your dad up

Heather:

again. Not promoting violence, but

Jaime:

yeah.

Gregg:

Thanks. We definitely will have you back. Yes. I, I hope so.

Heather:

Yes. Well, good. Good job, first guest. Yeah. And um, guys, don't forget to like, share and subscribe because we definitely appreciate it. And any questions that you wanna send us, go ahead and send 'em to info at the alpha mail podcast.com.

Gregg:

Thanks for joining us today. Yeah, for you next time. We'll

Heather:

see you next time guys. Thanks. Thank you. Bye.